Self Care

New Year’s Resolutions? Forget About Them!

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Near Year. New Me. New Opportunities.

That’s what we hear every single year. How we are going to be better or kinder, how we are going to actually save money or travel this year, and so on! It’s time to call it out for what it is, and say when enough is enough! It’s time to forget about these resolutions!

On my IG and FB feed I see people saying things like, Well I thought 2019 was going to be better but this thing has happened already, or this or that.

People, we are only two-three weeks in! When really Life does not care what year or what time it is. Things are just going to happen, and that does not mean it’s a bad year or 2019 is trying to turn on you. It’s just Life reminding you he’s here and it’s another day, we have to keep moving on.

Why You Should Forget About Setting New Year’s Resolutions?

You should skip setting new year’s resolutions because they are built on negative and not so exciting beliefs. “I need to lose weight” “I need to eat healthier”, things that people do not actually look forward to doing, and it makes it sound more like a punishment. In 2018, according to data journalist, Martin Armstrong, in his article The Most Common New Year’s Resolutions in 2018 states that 37% of the resolutions made were to eat healthier, and 37% were made to exercise more, and another 37% were made to save money.

Do any of those sound familiar? Are you actually accomplishing them and feeling good about it? Or do you end up screwing ’em and forgetting about it?

In addition, resolutions are not fully developed, leading to a lot of people not able to fulfill them. Kelsey Mulvey from Business Insider says 80% of resolutions fail by February! I wonder why.

When it comes to New Year’s Resolutions, they have an unrealistic standard with an unrealistic time period or deadline. People wait for the New Year to begin their journey of losing weight, or saving money, or eating healthier. Which none of these are something that happens overnight. It all takes time, so why not start now?

Set Goals Instead of Resolutions

Set SMART Goals, not resolutions.

The difference between resolutions and goals is that goals are a desired result, a result that takes steps to achieve the goal. A resolution is a decision to do or not to do something. A resolution is only a step in the goal process, and that is what many are missing. We can not just say, “okay, I’m going to save money this year.” We need to dive in more!

To dig deeper we need to apply SMART goals.

Step 1 – Set a Specific Goal

Your goals needs to be clear and specific on what you actually want to accomplish. This is a great method in finding out what you really like to do and not do. Find something that motivates you, and something that you really want to work on.

When thinking of what goals to set, ask yourself:

  1. What do I want to accomplish?
  2. What is all involved in trying to do what I want to accomplish?
Step 2 – Measurable

With setting a measurable goal, you need to visualize the goal itself, and the moment you achieve the goal.

You need evidence that you see that will make you excited and motivated to achieve this goal. Just saying, ‘oh well I’ll be happier and things will be better for me’ is not physical evidence! When you say ‘I will go to the gym 3x a week, eat more vegetables at each meal, and drink 64oz of water each day’ is your evidence! You’ll be able to see the changes.

Step 3 – Achievable

An achievable and an attainable goal is where you do a bit of self-reflection and research. You will really have to breakdown that goal. We already know what our goal is from step one. We have visualized a clear image of ourselves achieving this goal, and seeing what the benefits will be from step two. Now we need to know the how.

  1. How will you accomplish this goal?
  2. What resources will you use?
  3. How much time will it take?
  4. What are the risks or constraints that’s stopping you from accomplishing this goal?
  5. How will you overcome those constraints?
  6. What skills and information are required for this goal?
  7. Are there costs involved? Will you be able to afford it?

These are great self-reflection questions to look into to make sure you can reach and attain this goal. The sky is the limit! However, life happens and we may not have the needed time to accomplish this goal, or the money, or the resources. Goals are not supposed to stress you out and discourage you and giving up on them. They are to motivate and challenge you to be your best self, one step at a time.

If you can’t now, figure out what is a level down from your goal to help get you ready. For example, I want to run a marathon. I haven’t done it in the past due to the lack of time and training. So I took a few steps down and realized there are other races that can help me build up to that goal. Let’s start with a 5k, and if that goes well we’ll run more. It did? Cool let’s run a 10k and see if that goes well. It did? Cool, now let’s train for a 15k. And it continues, I will continue to run more and more by taking steps to reach the original goal, running the full marathon.

Step 4 – Relevant

This step is very important. Sit back and ask yourself,

  1. Why do I want to do this?
  2. Does this goal actually matter to me, and is this actually something I want to do?
  3. What is the objective and purpose of doing this?
  4. Do I have the availability to achieve this goal at this time?

For YEARS, I have been wanting to learn Spanish. But I never sat down and asked if this was the right time. In 2016, I was moving to California. I was too busy saving money and trying to find a job once we moved. 2017 was figuring everything out, trying to raise my status at my job and earn more responsibilities, visiting family, etc.. 2018, I quit my job and started my own business. Oh and throughout all these years, I had school!

I was trying to do so much already that I didn’t take a second and realize, Kylie this is not the time. It doesn’t mean never, it just means not right now. Here we are in 2019, things are settling and I finally have made time to take Spanish lessons 1-2 times a week. It took time, but I’m doing it and it’s something I have been truly wanting to do.

Step 5 – Time Bound

Set a deadline / target date! Let’s be honest, most of us gets things done at the last minute. So set a deadline on when to have this done to help keep your goal a priority. Remember to keep the time frame of when you need the goal reached to be realistic and flexible! As much as we would love to lose 30 pounds in a month, it is not realistic. Write down steps/goals on HOW to lose the 30 pounds.

Create milestones for yourself. If you plan to have a $1,000 by December 31st, you could set a milestone to have $250 by March. $500 by June. $750 by September. Just be specific on how much you want to save, have a clear image of doing it, make sure it’s achievable and is in your reach, that it’s something that you actually want to do, and you have a time frame to do it in.

SMART Goals will get you way farther along in who and where you want to be, instead of these resolutions that are just a yearly fad and for some reason requires people to start on New Year’s Day, when really you can apply these SMART goals any day and time of the year!

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