5 Things They Don’t Tell You When Moving In With Your Significant Other, and how to get through it together!
I moved in with Alex into our first place together with our other roommate back in 2016. I was SO excited! We would sit and talk about all the things we can do, and what the apartment would look like, and this and that. What we did not prepare for was the craziness and the stress of it all.
Our mistake was moving across country, and then moving in together. When moving to LA we didn’t know anybody, it was my first time away from home, and we were all just trying to figure it out.
Even though it took some time, it brought Alex and I closer together. We have learned a lot about each other, and have grown so much since then. SO Alex and I got together and came up with 5 things that we wish we knew when moving in with each other, and hope it’ll help you when moving in with your significant other!
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5 Things They Don’t Tell You When Moving In With Your Significant Other
1. Patience + Compromise is Mandatory
Be patient with one another, and know that there will be a ton of compromising!
From living on your own you may be used to a certain routine, things being done a certain way, having the whole bed to yourself (or only to you and your dog!), etc.. When you have some else living with you, it throws you off your game. Things get mixed up, the other person doesn’t put things back, or there is only one bathroom and you have to wait for them to get out.
It took Alex and I a good 6 months to finally understand each others routines and what each one of us prefer how certain things are done. AND it definitely didn’t help out since I was super stressed and filled with anxiety of not knowing about anything. My world got so shaken up.
How to get through it together: Talk with each other! Alex and I talked a lot on how to get through certain matters. But most importantly, be patient with each other. Don’t be an egotistical ass and thinking that it’s your way or the highway. Compromise!
If you are stressed out, think about them because they may not be feeling so hot either! They may be upset that your stressed out and there is little for them to do, and they be stressed as well because MOVING IS STRESSFUL! So be kind and patient with one another. Talk with each other to see how you can each help things easier for the both of you!
2. Cleanliness Standards
This one is the fun one! Just make sure to remember #1, be patient and compromise.
You and your significant other may definitely have different cleaning standards!
To me clean is putting things back right where you found it and everything having a place. Yes, I will admit I am a bit anal and picky. I would like things to be a specific way.
To Alex he had a tendency to just put things wherever, which caused him to lose things all the time! Granted, he has been a lot better now, but it took some time. Alex is also good at picking up after himself and likes to keep things clean. BUT he was anal on how I cooked things. I didn’t do it the way he was used to and he would hover me constantly!
Same with the dishes, we both had two different ways of doing it!
The giphy below is me…
The giphy below is our other roommate (not Alex thankfully, but it could easily be your significant other)
How to get through it together: Talk with each other! Discuss together how you prefer things to be cleaned and divide up the chores. If you are a bit anal like I am, I recommend you just do it yourself. It will keep you and your mind sane. For me, I have a particular way to fold towels than Alex does. So instead of getting on him about I just do it myself, or I learned to leave it alone. IT’S OKAY if they do it differently from you. Just don’t get too upset about it because it will happen!
If your significant other has a tendency to be messy, before even moving in with each other I would be checking your significant others place out beforehand. If there place is a huge mess, then I would talk with them about it and try to help them live a cleaner lifestyle before moving in. Having food left out, things not put away, it all can lead to unwanted bugs or things getting lost constantly.
3. Bickering May Intensify
Before moving in together, for two years Alex and I never fought. EVER! Yes we would bicker and agree to disagree, but nothing ever was super serious.
It was a different story when we moved in together. Again, we lived in another city that made it twice as difficult! We didn’t know anybody, we didn’t know how to get around, our friends weren’t in the same city as us, ETC.. So we were just trapped with each other, and when things got hard, we would take it out on one another.
How to get through it together: Talk with each other! Moving is stressful, living together for the first time is stressful. Talk with one another, be there for one another, and LISTEN to each others concerns
Most of the “fights” or the “intense bickering” Alex and I did, we don’t even remember what they were about…
So if you are able, try to let things go. Do not get upset over the littlest things. We are not perfect, but at least try to understand you are on the same team, and the other person may be going through something. Be patient and kind to one another, and know that the fights are not worth it.
4. How Difficult It Could Be
That’s just it, how difficult it could be. No one told us that.
We didn’t know how stressful it could be moving across the country with each other, and then moving in together for the first time. We didn’t know how stressful the move would be, the new life, etc..
Just remember that it won’t all be toots and giggles, and that’s okay!
How to get through it together: Talk with each other! Be patient, respectful, and understanding. You guys are Bonnie & Clyde, you both are on the same team. Support your teammate!
5. Allow an Adjustment Period
As we have established, things may not go as expected when you move in with you significant other, and that’s okay! Just allow an adjustment period!
Take the advice from #1 and be patient. Everybody is different. Alex and I’s first year living together in LA was not easy, but the second year was AMAZING. It was one of our best years together. For others it may take a month of adjusting and they’re set, good for them!
How to get through it together: Talk with each other! Be patient, and do not compare your relationship to others. Be there for one another, and listen to each others concerns.
With these 5 tips in mind, you and your significant others move should be a lot easier. Plus your lucky that you know these beforehand, because we sure didn’t!
Featured image is taken from rawpixel.com from Pexels
What are some things you wish you knew before moving in with your significant other?
Share with us in the comments below to help others out too!
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